The Plans
by QueenBtchoftheUniverse
Summary: SpongeBob and Patrick start out by exploring our government, but at the end of the day end up exploring each other.


Note: This originally started as a paper for history class that my sister and her friend collaborated on. Then I got my twisted hands on it. So all proper credit goes to Olivia and Savannah for their idea, and if there is anything you find disturbing about this that's probably where I contributed. I only catalogued it in the humor section because it gives me a chuckle when I read it, but if this does not strike your fancy then please ignore these intentions. So without further ado, I give you this twisted piece of material.

The plans:

_Ready, set…action!_

After the theme song had run its course, Patrick and SpongeBob were plopped onto set. Most of the time they weren't even told in advance of where they were going or what they were doing, they were told to just go with it.

While the president and his house of representatives continued on with their meeting, SpongeBob and Patrick listened to their conversations.

"What's the Virginia Plan?" asked SpongeBob. He had been following their conversation very closely but was still confused at the vague mentionings of these Virginal Plans.

Some old guy with a funny white wig (who was apparently the president) broke from his conversation to answer the undersea sponge. Already he could tell that this man wouldn't miss an opportunity to expound on his knowledge. "Well, you see, Edmund Randolph and James Madison came up with the plan. It was meant for a strong government with three branches. The legislative branch passed all the laws, the executive branch carried out the laws and the judicial branch overlooked the system of courts."

"So...what else is there about the three branches?" SpongeBob asked. He heard a loud noise, and looked over to see Patrick Star, his best friend, had smacked face first onto the table and was fast asleep.

"We will talk about that later on little sponge! Back to what I was saying; for the Virginia Plan the legislature would consist of two houses, seats awarded by population of course. The larger states would have more representatives than the small states. Under the Articles of Confederation, each state would only have one vote in Congress."

"What are the Articles of Confederation?" SpongeBob asked with his big blue eyes. He could tell that the old fart was winding down now, but he still didn't have all the answers that he needed.

"We will discuss that later, young one," The president replied with a smile.

"Annnnnd… PATRICK WAKES UP!" SpongeBob yelled into the starfish's ear.

"Whowhatwhenwhere?" Patrick shot up from the table.

"You were snoring through my fine explanatory speech." The president gave his fat, pink friend a glare.

"Oh, sorry, talk about your business thingy." Patrick ushered on, wiping the drool off of his face.

"Actually, we really should be getting back to business now." The wigged patriarch wiped a hand across his brow. SpongeBob wondered why they even wore those things, but his best guess was that they provided cover for I-was-so-drunk-I-could-barely-see-straight-last-ni ght love bites. Those would hardly be professional.

"Mr. President, it has come to my attention that the education of these youngsters is as equally important as our discussions. We can finish up while you explain to them, if you'd like."

"Excellent idea Jefferson! Alright, now on to the New Jersey plan." The president continued on talking. "Small states disagreed with the Virginia plan. They were scared that the larger states would out-vote them. So, after two weeks of debating, William Peterson brought up a plan that had the support of the small states: the New Jersey plan. Both plans called for the three branches of government. Remember, legislative, judicial, and executive. It provided a legislature that had only one house."

"Don't people normally only own one house though?" Patrick called out. He had been paying attention, but the poor star was really bad at absorbing new information.

"Oh pat..." SpongeBob shook his head. "You need to listen more carefully!"

"Sorry, continue on. Again!" Patrick giggled.

"Each state no matter how big or tiny had to vote on one legislature."

"Is your hair real?" Patrick interjected, stroking the president's hair.

"Of course it is! Don't touch it; it's precious."

Definitely love bites. What a kinky old windbag.

"Now, I will be back at the same time tomorrow for another meeting," the president claimed, walking out the door as the meeting officially came to a close.

"Wait, what's your name?" SpongeBob asked.

"George, George Washington!" He yelled back.

"Okay...where do we go now?" Patrick asked.

"I think we just leave now..." SpongeBob replied.

"Oh no, you two aren't going anywhere. You haven't finished learning what you need to know! Now come this way and we will lead you to a room to go rest in," one of the rising representatives instructed. He took SpongeBob and Patrick to another room, telling them to be out tomorrow at six am. "After all, we don't just argue over papers and scratch our butts all day!"

Could've fooled him.

"Sleepover in the supreme court, yeah buddy!" Pat shouted while SpongeBob lay down on the bed provided. Now that the cameras were off of them it was time to have some fun.

"Patrick, I want you to come to me." The innuendo in his voice was not lost on the starfish.

He obeyed and shucked his shorts before coming to lie next to the sponge and strip him of his suit. "Tell me how you want it, Boob." He used his nubs to start exploring the edges of SpongeBob's pores. "Like this?"

SpongeBob couldn't help but whimper. The use of his bedroom name turned him on as equally as Patrick's touches. "In..inside. Inside them, Dick Head."

Patrick dipped his hands in, withdrawing them slowly to slam them back into his cavities.

SpongeBob whined again. "Patrick…I need…"

The star already had SpongeBob's foot at his mouth, drawing his big toe into his mouth and across his tongue.

"muhhhhhhh," with one final thrust of the pink nubs he felt his pores tighten and ripple around Patrick's appendages.

Patrick collapsed onto SpongeBob, both of them panting from their exertions. He could feel his buddy shivering with need on top of him, and knew exactly what to do. Reaching his arms up, he used one hand to spread Patrick's cheeks and the other to probe inside his hole, stroking all the spots that he knew his best friend liked.

Patrick grunted and rocked his hips to get his fingers deeper. The sponge complied, slowly fitting in each finger until his whole fist was enclosed in Patrick's heat. He twisted and turned, biting him on the shoulder to send him over the edge. They pumped and thrust until they were both spent from their efforts.

"Patrick," he said with a smirk. "I think we need to get you one of those wigs for tomorrow."

"Yippee!" Patrick clapped his hands in delight; all evidence of his bedroom self gone. "If you get one too then we could be matching!"

"Then get over here and make me match," he said, his tone dropping. By the hooded look in Patrick's eye, it seemed that they were in for a long night of education.

Note: Ta-Dah! And this just goes to show that I can't write anything without perverting it in some way. Oh well, let me know if you liked it!


End file.
